No Fun, No Fun At All. (A Cynical View of Baseball)
Baseball. America’s Pass-time. Nothing like going out to the ballpark and hearing that first crack of the bat. Sitting and waiting for the pitcher to decide which pitch to throw. Watching the batter spit his chewing tobacco and then scratch his crotch. Then the pitcher throws the pitch… damn it’s a ball. This whole process is repeated until either the batter hits the ball or is struck out.
Now, I’m sure you all knew that. The smart, athletic sport geeks you are. But, did you know that baseball is utterly boring?
Baseball is a sport for pussies or intellectuals. You can sit around and discuss stats until the cows come home, but where is the action. Watching baseball is like fucking with no intention of ever cumming, pointless, and a total waste of time. Now you might be reading this saying “hold on there mister! what about when someone hits a home-run, that is better than an orgasm”. Well, if a home-run is better than an orgasm, you have been going about sex all wrong. But, yes a home-run is quite exciting. Though if you’re watching a dog walk around the yard for 2 hours and it suddenly stops to take a shit, I bet that shit would be heart-pounding. It’s all about context.
Baseball is called “America’s Pass-time”. A pass-time, is something you use to kill a couple hours. Some people knit, read, or paint. A pass-time is just another word for a hobby. Something you tinker around with; nothing serious. So, by definition baseball is just something that is there to kill a couple hours and isn’t all that serious. I mean it’s just “America’s Hobby”, right?
Now, I could go on a little more, but I’m going to let a master of the English language, and in my opinion one of the greatest and sharpest minds of our time, Mr. George Carlin talk to you about baseball.
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hi, i couldn’t agree more about baseball but the way you put it “Watching baseball is like fucking with no intention of ever cumming” this is the best comment i’ve ever heard about baseball
azmo
azmoaore - April 30, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I gotta agree with ya too. I love the game of baseball, there is nothing like going to the game and spending some time with friends or family but, actually watching every game of the season on tv is like fucking with no intention of ever cumming. Although, I think it has a lot to do wtih what we can relate to. I could sit down and watch golf for a couple hours, but only if certain players are playin, like Tiger Woods. Golf is a whole different animal than any other sport, and takes a lot to like. I remember was George had to say about golf…”Golf is like watching flies fuck.”
chrispierpont - April 30, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Alex, your post about baseball is hysterical. It’s by far my favorite sport to watch and play, but I completely understand where you’re coming from. It does get a little boring after awhile and I find myself changing channels at regular intervals. It’s been a good time working with you this semester. “Baka sherpa sherpa…”
Brendan - April 30, 2007 at 7:28 pm
In my history of Baseball class we saw clips of this than I watched the whole thing. I love the part where he talks about the war term associated with running an offense. Definitely one of the best clips I have seen on youtube.
jimroz - April 30, 2007 at 8:51 pm
This comment thing is deceiving, I can’t see the cursor. You win the award for most developed class blog. Can’t say I share the same views about baseball, obviously. But I do enjoy shrewd and honest words. I have a personal blog, http://www.soulcast.com/allah that I use to release some frustrations, I think you would enjoy it. I always feel the people who think baseball is the most boring are the ones who never attempted to understand it. Like an orgasm, baseball is psychological mostly, physical secondary, it’s all a matter of preference and how much of the “what am I not seeing” people actually understand.
yankeevmm - April 30, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Funny post man. Baseball is tied for football as my favorite sport, but they are both very different. Football is fast and is action packed, while baseball is a slow “thinking mans” game. I can understand why some can’t watch baseball. I can only watch sports that I have played in my life, thats why when i see a home run, or a great touchdown pass i can appreciate it more because i know how hard it is to do. Love the satire though man.
Matthew DeBarros - April 30, 2007 at 10:22 pm